“Villains Of The Soul”

BLOG 7
12.8.2020

“VILLAINS OF THE SOUL”

The Soul is a veiled light, neglect it, and it will dim and die. Fuel it with the sacred oil of love and it will burn with an immortal flame”. (Sung at the Temples of Ammon-Ra). This quote emblazoned on my conscsiousness,found on the LP “White Winds” by Andreas Vollenweider in the early ‘80s.

 Statue of the God Amun-Ra – Temples at Karnak, Eqypt

I have now seen and understood what my work really is in this life. My life is not about giving another back to themselves. That is their task. Their choice. My work is not to illicit, to push or encourage others, to reframe their experience of themselves, nor to rewrite their stories. Even though I may be given the gift of insight, the gift of seeing and feeling into another’s’ pain, joy, misgivings, faults, weaknesses, that gift is for me to see, to feel, to change, to reframe, to rewrite. What I see in another, as we know, is a mirror of ourselves.

The Egyptian God Ra – with Hawk & Sun Disk

My work is opening myself honestly to this pattern, this trait in my behaviour, which has dogged me in my life, stemming from a place of fear, of always wanting or needing to be right, of needing to be in control, of needing to be right (“I know what your problem is” with a sense of authority and self-righteousness), of being heard, having always been made wrong. It is not my work to show the other was I cannot see in myself. As Sri Poonjaji would say “Turn the mirror back to face itself”.

We know that our habitual patterns of behaviour, our conditioning, over decades, lifetimes even, knit themselves so tightly into the ‘sweater of self’. So to begin the process of unpicking, is indeed a very daunting and arduous process, one which we must consciously choose. We first have to find the sweater! However, once the choice is made, and as we begin to pull the thread, the unpicking begins. There is no turning back. Cast the sweater aside, half unpicked, and it becomes a mangled mess, collecting dust and debris. 

We may see the thread of the patterns running through our lives, through the relationships, friendships and bonds that we’ve made. Those that have come and gone. To those we love or have loved, and those we believe(d) love(d) us. Those we’ve shared love with, at any level, is still love, regardless of the dependence and dysfunctionality in that moment. It is the reality of our perception, at any given time.


VIbrant Sunset (courtesy of Simon Wild friend on Facebook) July 2020

Through deep introspection, meditation, spiritual practices, therapy, I have become aware, that even when I started teaching yoga, I remember internally saying, with frustration, “why don’t they get it” (“it” being the teachings, the wisdom). I heard the inner voice say, “Don’t worry about them, you’re the one that needs to get it”. A turning point. However, the pattern was ingrained from very early years. I remember clearly and see the ‘gestalt’, to this day, of a time in Paris, never suspective or knowing I had an issues. It was everyone else!! Came down with a bang, from that one. Eventually.

However, letting go of the wider sphere of folk, in my close relationships the pattern still continued. Of course, we know, it is always within the significant other relationships or the very, very, close family/caregivers of origin, that all of this arises. How challenging, difficult and painful, consciously moving through years of dysfunctional love relationships, friendships and personal triangles for myself and potentially for the other, as I attempted to navigate those rocky waters.

As I have begun to forgive myself and forgive others, without retaliation, I feel a softening within. A glimpse of the feminine. And others too have softened. And yet I consciously tread gently again, avoiding reactive patterns emerging on both sides.

Collusion was also part of the dysfunctionality, to avoid further wounding, pain, to gain favour, and now I know, to protect the other from themselves, to keep the status quo of the uncomfortable familiar.

As a child, an adolescent and as a young woman, my voice was never heard, silenced. That’s why I sang. I felt I had a “third arm”. I never told anyone about the abuse that happened. I never knew I could. I would be blamed, found guilty, deemed bad, spoilt, damaged goods. I never knew that I had emotions. I did not know what anger really was, never really naming it until decades later in therapy. I felt this deep, cavernous demon within, sitting there in her cave. She wanted out. No one came when she cried for help. No one. The silent voice holding secrets of the forbidden.

 Figure 4 Broomfield Park, London.

Instead, I excelled at humour, clowning, theatre, singing, hosting numerous parties, events, music weekends. I loved it. And yet deep down, so much terror, sadness, pain, loneliness. So much un-loved-ness.

As I have grown into love with myself, my close ones have also begun to open. I was recently listening to Brené Brown, and also reading her book “Daring Greatly” about vulnerability and risking. When we love we open ourselves out – like a flowering from within. We feel transported, elevated. When we begin to feel love in the place of fear, we inevitably become more vulnerable, as we risk opening our hearts more, our soft underbelly begins to appear. However, that does not mean that the ingrained, instinctual, habitual patterns stuck in that sweater of stuff instantly evaporates.

Through the medium of the love we share with another, through deepening in trust and kindness, we are invited to skilfully negotiate between the two, until such time as we really let go into ourselves and embrace the love that is within us. The love that we are fully, without expectation, demands or conditions from the other.

Today I am grateful. I have learnt a very telling lesson, that my ability to forgive and to take those beings back into my life, into my soul and into my heart, has not necessarily always paid off. Forgiveness does not mean condoning behaviour, nor having contact with those who have hurt us. They were repeats of past lessons unlearned. It was a necessary task and today, the lesson has been learnt well this time. I do not suffer this. I simply state during these early morning hours, that sometimes, when I try to be heard, I am overridden and become embroiled, in those toxic patterns of old-times, the body like a fire ablaze, the voice high in the chest, pitch and tone rising, the reactivity, the inflammation, the heat, the inevitable, uncontrolled anger. All through the mirror of the other. Sounds familiar?

So, I now set myself the intention to remember and remember very well, that whatever another says, does, feels or acts, those elements belong to them. They have nothing to do with me, other than reflecting back to me my own deeper, shadow self, when I recognize something which touches me.

The practice is to listen, to feel inside my body, for any reaction which may come up, based in my own experience, my perception of what they say, think and feel. I remember that all interaction is of course relational, all thoughts, words, feelings, actions are perceived through the filters of our own mind, our own experiences, our own perceived reality. It is not a pure direct felt experience at the core of our being of what truly IS.

I listen, I breathe, I feel in my body. I do not react. I simply Be with the other person. That is my resolution, my practice. So through the intermediary of two beings in my life today, I am brought back to myself. Thank you for the trust of our connections. You have trusted enought and shown me your own pains, your own deep fears of love and opening. I have witnessed them. You have seen and witnessed mine. I have been able to open to love, and as I have softened, risked and dared greatly, the other softened. Some have retracted and retreated, fearful of any deep, meaningful, intimate connection. The heart closes

We all know this all too familiar comfort place. Yet, the two are not separate. We are invited to look at the fear and mistrust go hand in hand. To look at how our hearts shutdown and how our bodies contract with tension and pain. We are invited to look at how we feel when we are with another.

All of this process needs to be based on an inner trust, a deep knowing, that all is well, within me. And then, yes, there is a space for a voice. A voice to be heard. There is a space for anger. And if there is real love, holding and mutual respect, then all can be shared, discussed openly, the relationship remaining undisturbed, and growing more in safety and truth.

Roses from the South

If we’re stuck in an old pattern that is lived out, not by one person, but several people in parallel relationships, there is a reinforcement of the patterns which branch out further like a web. If we have an eye for intimacy – in-to-me-see, we then have a light into ourselves. For a lighthouse in the dark shows the way home. If the light goes out, there is no light to bring us back to the heart of ourselves. There is no coming home. Drifting only in the ocean of illusion, delusion or fantasy is our only continuing reality.

It is never too late, whatever age we are, wherever we find ourselves, alone, together, family, hermit, yogi, to find love, truth and harmony. We are here in this body, for this lifetime.

When I am able to resonate with that which is true within me, THIS’ is me, this body, this mind, these feelings, these emotions, I can connect with others. And I can also know that the longing, the deep yearning, the deep feelings, that I have, the insights within and without, is that my mind, my heart, my soul, will surrender to ‘THAT’ which is greater than myself. Then, and only then, will I be brought home. To be able to know that ‘THIS’ (the embodied soul) needs attention, requires watering like the plants and trees of the earth, for those unwanted energies to rise to the surface, to be honoured, to be thanked, to be released.

And in the dissolving of the old “arisings” there is a space for feeling who we really are. ‘THAT”

Sacred Lake at Karnak Egypt

Mohini Chatlani

“The Starfish Effect”

BLOG 6  4.8.2020

The Starfish Effect”

So today the first day after the full moon, I have decided to try my hand at blogging! I started a blog in 2016 which I published on my older website, which have now been included on the new website. At that time, I didn’t have any real understanding of what a blogger was, what is its purpose, why I would write one, what my intentions were and outcomes might be, how it could serve myself and others, or indeed, why I would write one in the first place.

So after this revelation this morning, I did a little research into the history of blogging and its subsequent development on the internet and going forward.

I was guided to two very good articles https://www.smamarketing.net/blog/what-is-the-purpose-of-a-blog andhttps://firstsiteguide.com/what-is-blog/   Thank you to these authors.

So I set to and set myself a task of answering some of the questions and comments raised in the two articles, which really focussed me on my intentions for the coming time.

It’s not that I don’t have anything else to do. I have so much! Those of you who know me either as family, friends or friends on social media, know that I actually am, mostly always, creating something, be it a music track, an album, a painting, a garden, looking after my mama. Some of you say “you’re amazing”. The “amazing-ness” is the God-spirit, Universal Energy or Power coursing through me, as a vehicle to illuminate my mind and potentially yours, to light up the fire within, so that we can live as authentically as we can as beings on the planet for a short while. I do not make any claim to the amazing-ness. I see it as a gift, one to be treasured, handled with care, and most importantly, to be shared.

Some of you may also know my seminal work “Yogaflows” published, to great acclaim in 2002. See www.heartspaceyoga.com my first website which has now been retired and remains only as a “static internet site” now included for posterity (!) into www.mohinichatlani.com as a form of reference or archival value.

Over the years of personal yoga and meditation practice, of personal western-style therapy and many more forms of self-inquiry, alternative therapies, trainings in yoga, massage, tai chi, qi gong, long stays in ashrams, yoga communities, sitting with “enlightened” masters, and more lately, online yoga classes and meditation sangha.

These experiences always led me to write. I wrote since very young. You know, for some us, it started with teenage journals. The thread (see a future post of the same name) was always, the need or the desire, or both, to write, to record, to hear my own inner voice through the writing, even if no one else heard it or read it. I needed to express myself, although at the time this was only an unconscious evolutionary impulse or urge. Ironically, I failed my English language ‘O’ Level no less than twice, succeeding on the 3rd time! That time, at secondary school, was heavy with unexpressed grief, inner turmoil, and total loss of identity after the very sudden and early demise of my beloved Daddy at age 11. Life took a most unexpected and painful turn, and it would never look like what I would have wanted it to ever again.

I have been working so hard on the new website recently, that my energy was quite “mangled” up yesterday. I began questioning what, was the purpose of a new website. My hand had been forced, when the platform I previously used for my then two separate websites, was decommissioned. I had to decide, do I want one, or not? Why? What for? I had, for a while, now, as I moved into a more eclectic synergy of my creative talents, that merging the two into one would be more sensible, feel more organic, and bring myself into balance with all the aspects and gifts I have been given to share. It was time. And then wait. Embracing the Pause.

So back to writing. This morning the day when I decided I would take the rest of the week off, the morning after the most wonderful connection with my students out on Chingford Plain last night for our second Tai Chi – Qi Gong, outdoor class. 

The communication between us, mostly silent, yet potent, nature holding us with the protection of trees, walkers with dogs, families with children, teens laughing and rolling around playfully on the grass, the world was a wonder to behold. I felt so different. We were all held in our grass circle. I was shown who I really am, through the mirror of nature, the stillness of the evening, the birthing of the full moon, the touching of the feminine and the groundedness within us all the beneath our feet, I realised and felt my purpose. To Be THAT which nature is, natural, organic, real, flowing, moving and bending with the elements, no resistance, no barriers. I had forgotten, momentarily, crouched behind a computer, on a chair, losing sight of the “pause”, often so pregnant with possibility.

So I feel, I have potentially been given the outlet of blogging, to share with you, whomever you are, my experiences, a little of my life stories, which may throw light on some of yours, to bring my website to life, through the writing, and as I write I feel the flow of creativity coursing through my fingers, that I can hardly keep up. How so? I feel you all out there you are with me now, as I write. What an interesting and rather curious and potent sensation this is. My purpose amongst others, is to inspire, to inform, to educate maybe to engage in an interactive process through comments, discussions, to provide tools for outreach and insight, to whet people’s appetite for more , all of which have their own legs, and to also forge a path to my new books, ready and waiting for publication at some point. The blogs may serve as an introduction to what may come either in hardback, kindle, download, who knows. The writings may take us to different places to explore, to expand, to inform, to enjoy and to live more vibrantly, more joyfully.

I leave you with this little teaching story, which I heard many moons ago, I don’t recall when or where, or who told it. So I call it “The Starfish Effect” and the reason I share this is to remind myself, that it is ok to start at zero, to write and be with as little expectations and conditions as possible, in everything we do and say, create and how we choose to live our lives.

A young boy was on a beach. A crowd of people were in the distance walking along the beach. They saw the boy moving, running on the sand towards the back of the beach, bending down, running rapidly towards the sea, lifting up his arm, making a gesture, then repeating the whole process over and over again. He was tired, wet and covered in sand and seaweed, yet determined, one-pointed, resolute.

As the group of people approached, they saw what the boy was doing and also they saw the beach was scattered with large dark objects. As they got nearer, they saw the objects were beached starfish.

They saw the boy was running to pick up one starfish after another, running back to the sea and throwing them back in so they survived. A man in the group, laughed out loud, and shouted arrogantly over to the boy “forget it boy, there are so many, it won’t make any difference”. And to that the boy replied, standing near the water, all the while holding one starfish high up above his head, as he threw the starfish into the water, retorting, loudly, and boldly “to this one it will”.

Herein lies the moral – for me if my actions, writings, songs, paintings, teaching, books, can inspire, help, make a difference, stir to emotions and more, then my work is done. It is such a wonderful principle to live by. Let us release any expectations, conditions or attachments to the outcome of our thoughts, words and actions. Living in the moment with the compulsion to act when necessary, and to hold back, equally, when the inner voice moves us to.

Blessings to All

Mohini

 

Full Moon Feminine

BLOG 5 :2.8.20 It’s Full Moon Tomorrow, August 3rd, 2020

I felt it a propitious moment, day and time of the full moon, to launch my new website. It is a new beginning. It is the amalgamation of 23 years of Heartspace Yoga and 11 years of Mohini Chatlani.  The voice calling me to pull all the strands together to a complete whole. No more fragmentation or separation. At this time of my life, I feel more whole than ever,  I feel love in my life in my heart and being, as a visceral sense, as well as a spiritual, universal, powerful energy. This unprecendented time on the planet, one of global pandemic, one of complete lockdown on all society and humanity has, at the most, for me, on a personal level, been energetically potently charged, instrumentally educative and illuminatingly spiritual.  Many changes have occured, mostly if not wholly within.  Nothing, on the outside has changed very much. Once a yogi, always a yogi. Staying in is familiar to me. An urban hermit you could call me.

So I welcome you all to visit with me here. And thank you for doing so.  Yes I have a ton of experience, I have had several careers, one of which is not even mentioned here – the years spent at Unesco and other large banks and corporate environments, in my 20’s : they gave me great experinence – being a great organiser, a good left brain, and an excellent Office Manager!
And my soul longed for release into the creative arts. And here we are!

The full moon is represented here in this wonderful sculpture which I found at an antiques yard.  She is now in someone’s home no doubt. I’m not sure who she is, so let her be the Goddess and God within in one of us. I felt moved to feature it here as a reminder to both men and women, of our feminine, watery, emotional sides, our innate sensuality, sexuality both earthly, sacred and divine.

The Full Moon occurs when the Sun, Earth, and Moon are aligned and the Moon’s surface is fully illuminated by the reflection of the Sun’s light. The Full Moon marks the completion of the (waxing) cycle and the growth cycle of our intention. The Full Moon’s energy is at its peak and is very powerful.

The full moon has regenerative and restorative properties, particularly of our feminine energy. So be attentive to ‘meet yourself where you are’. You could ask yourself ‘what is it I want to illuminate in my life’? We can use the moon’s brilliant energy to see what is no longer serving our intentions. Maybe something needs releasing, so we can set our intention just after the moon begins to wane. It’s a great time to start a detox, releasing waste and toxins, on any or all levels of our being : emotional, physical, mental or spiritual. It is a great time to communicate anything of importance to a partner, to enhance our level of intimacy, as a path to renewed spiritual growth, expansion and transformation.


picture via Facebook : Full Moon Over Montreux, Switzerland

The full moon represents :
Completion
The height of power
The realisation of desires
Clarity
It is a time to celebrate our growth
To take note of what progress we have made
To reflect on how far we have come
It is time to put the “lunatic” to bed!
It is a time of gratitude for our manifest desires
Those which have been brought to be
It is a time of connecting, nurturing and awakening the Divine Feminine – the moon being the watery aspect of the planets, connected to our emotions, sensuality and sensitivities.
It is a time to release the ego-desired manifestations and give thanks and surrender to the force greater than oneself.
Witnessing that which come to be, under Grace and in Divine and perfect ways, as our connection to Spirit gives birth to something Divine and Sacred to serve one’s greater purpose on Earth.
It is a time to release aspects and elements which no longer serve the grandest vision of our soul.
It is a time to realise and feel one’s highest potential and vision.
It is a time to feel one’s sensuality and creativity, our intimacy and sexuality.
It is time to awaken and connect our consciousness to the Ancient ones who have walked the Earth.
It is time to awaken and connect with our own Ancient Healer Self.
And it is time indeed, to open ourselves, to the field of Infinite Possibilities and Infinite Intelligence which comes through us in human form.
It Is Time!


picture via Facebook : Haven By The Sea B&B Inn

Into The Quiet Of The Heart – A Fresh Way To Be

BLOG 4  5.6.20 So much has changed, for so many of us, in so many different ways.  We are together, alone, walking this path to freedom. Supporting, cheering, wailing, keening,singing, painting, walking, cooking, clearing.  And so it goes….

A little update on Mohini Elise – her middle name is her maternal Grandmother’s name, given at birth.

This soul has been a mover and a shaker, as so many of you know her as  friend, family, student, colleague, online community or other. She is a daughter, sister, aunt and a creative mother. She has been a singer, teacher of singing, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, collectively, for over 35 years. She has been a carer, a care manager a PA, a PR and Communications Officer, at UNESCO in Paris. She has travelled worldwide. She has studied yoga in the UK, India, America.  She lived in a yogic community in Florida for a year. She has met many a revered master (called “gurus”) Poonjaji, Ammachi, Moojibaba, Gangaji, and some disgraced ones too, now, unashamedly named here, Mickey Singer, Amrit Desai.  She studied music and singing in London and Paris.

On her return from the USA, Heartspace Yoga was born (est. 1997). Never looking to be published, she became a published author, the innovator of Yogaflows™ (2002) a unique and natural way of practising and embodying yoga. The book “fed” for her for nearly a decade, as she travelled the globe teaching retreats, workshops, classes and seminars.

She is a singer and has been performing since the age of 4 until very recently, when the voice as it was then, the classically trained operatic voice, did not resound true anymore.  A brief encounter, with a renowned artist and composer, cloaked in “fake spirituality” – associated with another “notable guru” to boot, rocked her musical world and her inner being, She was trusting, vulnerable, hungry – she felt and was taken “for a ride”.  She even bought the dress for the promised “Albert Hall” concert. Seriously! What was spawned,  however, from the last song she vocally and creatively created out of piece of his music, was the flabbergasted retort :“how did you do this”? Incredulous that she could create something as good or even better. She removed his music and wrote her own. It is “Call to Joy” on her first album “Alaya-Nam”. Trance like, it will transport you.

Enter a time of resting the voice – whilst she learnt music technology with a ex- Punk Rock  Stranglers, Vibrators star, John Ellis.  In that fallow period, and whilst learning, she crafted her first CD of original music of sacred songs, drawn from different cultures sung in ancient languages “Alaya-Nam” (2012).  Her ancestry kicked in – Arabic, Indian, Middle Eastern and World music influences, threading their pearls across the staves which were “channelled” through her being and into her voice. Her humanity, the struggles, the fights, the abuses were fused into the voice, and people were touched, and people cried, and people laughed.  Her spirituality, underpinning the ground of these productions. And Heartspace Music was born (2012) – her own record label, her London recording studio, now with 4 eclectic audio CDs in the catalogue. Now she loves the technology!

And what of her art? Yes, born of a prolific painter/artist mother, she dabbled a little in water colour, oils and pencils through her early years.  Music always took centre stage. her “3rd arm” she would call it. After the loss of 3 close friends in very close succession in April 2017 she was led to painting again, to appease her sorrowful heart. Oils, her preferred medium, she has painted over 70 works since then.  She is studying with Angelika Privalakhina – who is her main inspiration, resonating with her technique, her soul, her spirit, teaching methods, her heart and art– see the Tuscany paintings en plein-air 2019.

Deep in her soul, beneath all the exterior, beyond the shattered dreams, existed an ongoing longing to rest, to be, to harness the inner teacher to assimilate and drink into herself, what she was teaching others, over decades, to meditate with herself, to seek the Divine within, to being to hold herself dear, to begin to really tune into the frequency of when she could love herself enough, a new life a new way of being would be born.

Enter lockdown -Covid 19 pandemic. March 2020

There is a Zen saying, “do nothing and all things will be done”.  Her longing is being fulfilled – to realise her TRUE SELF; her inner teacher is alive and kicking, being of service to her highest heart desire; her voice and music is temporarily on hold, whilst dealing with immune system anomaly; her music, songs and new albums await her comeback; her art is thriving; she has a wonderful miracle of Gaia House, which has always been her “2nd home” since the early 80s, is now in her home, on-line, meditating every day; the opportunity to actually sit with amazing Insight teachers, whom, otherwise, she may never have met, who are inspiring, heartfelt and genuine. She is awed by the radiance of the endless possibilities of this period. For her it is right and fitting.  She is a yogi, her modus operandi is one of internalisation, when not out in the world.

She has let go of SO much; www.heartspaceyoga.com (hy.com – now a static website)  wesbite around for 19 or so years has been retired; she wanted to be able to fuse all her gifts, talents and arts into one website : www.mohinichatlani.com which has been running parallel to hy.com. Updating 2 websites on an outdated platform would not longer do. She felt a disparity, and now feels a  a wholeness, a coming together, with different offerings, a new view, a new paradigm.

Do nothing and all things are being done : the current website  platform itself, is also being retired! Enter the new currently, being professionally redesigned, www.mohinichatlani.com website.  It may be a few weeks before she is up and running – exciting to feel the newness of MOHINI MUSIC ART MOVEMENT coming into being. The old site will go offline on 30 June 2020.  The other will emerge and birth soon after.

As for her teaching, this too has been released. Over time, the need to teach in order to learn, felt more and more redundant. Had she learnt all she could? Slowly, and clearly, the work bean to slough away. The deep, inner voice once told her, when she was exhausted with so many weekly classes “you teach until you don’t need to teach anymore, until you  have learnt what you need to learn”. She had learned what she needed to. However, we humans, for the most part, are heavily identified with name, form, work, career, achievements.   A desire to practice more for herself. To take responsibility for her own healing, growth and ongoing evolution.  How would she let go.  Saddled on her inner work, this majestic beast began to rear upwards, charge, then slowly canter, to a halt. She had arrived. There was an inner hankering, a push towards the edge, to let go.That heartfelt longing, strangely aligned itself with the pandemic, and hand-in-hand with her highest desire and compounded by the non-suitability of the venues, halls, yoga centres, leisure centres, who, in her view, are unable to provide a safe, clean and hygienic space to continue to teach, she has let teaching go. It was time.

Although, in the interim, left with no regular income, the on-line zoom classes are not for her. Her nervous system needs the rest of her life to recuperate, restore, regenerate and renew. Done! No regrets.  It is time.

Her on-line network marketing business has also ceased – good for a while, yet too time and energy consuming, very externalized, and often too materialistic.  Some good eggs there though, who have become lovely friends.  Done! No regrets. It was time.

Time now for her heart to find a right balance, to re-calibrate. Having lent too far over in one direction for too long, like a pendulum stuck on one side, she now leans back to the place of balance.  Leaning back into herself, feeling the ancestors behind her, the light in front.

She does not feel loss of those aspects, expressions and elements of the first half of her life – as Jung so aptly coined it-  the external expression of her creativity and assets and talents in the world, because – it is time. She feels relief, excitement of what is now birthing in the fertile void, of this very welcome, worldly, imposed, inner retreat. She feels more the energy of welcoming, and of entering into the second half of her life, where the inner life is of supreme and utter importance : the on-line dharma hall of www.gaiahouse.co.uk , her yoga classes with fellow sister and yogini, her painting and the spontaneous release of the inner free hand, brush,palette knife and fingers to have a play; creating at long last the audios of her meditations and relaxations from her Yogaflows™ book; clearing out the loft and the unnecessary items; discovering a decade of poetry and writing from the 80’s and 90’s – and publishers interested in her new books; picking up her Qi Gong instructor training modules, finding new and creative ways of bringing in the scheckels.

All products available to view, purchase or enquire about on www.mohinichatlani.com

Her Yogaflows™” book although now out of print is still available from her.

 

 Her  Heartspace Music audio CDs are available for sale. All four of them, so far!

     

    

Mohini’s HeARTspace Artwork is For Sale.  

Here are a few latest paintings during lockdown:

Blow Me A Kiss” oil on board 40x30cm

 Scherarzade”oil on canvas 40x40cm

 “A La Flamenco” oil on deep canvas 50x43cm SOLD

 “Abhayam – No Fear” – oil on deep canvas 60x43cm

 Mohini offers all her original canvas or board oil paintings, canvas prints, or repainted canvas print and giclée prints for sale .  Below are two examples of a repainted canvas print and a Giclée print :

 

 I See Me” (March 2020) : SOLD to the left the original canvas painting oil 60x40cm, framed; to the right the slightly larger canvas print 62x42cm, unframed on deep canvas, ready to hang, repainted for the customer.

 Radha” (2019) original oil on canvas 45x35cm SOLD

 Radha” Giclée print total size with charcoal border, teal outline, printed on Hahnemuhle Rag Paper (grainy quality for oil reproductions) 50 x 41cm, for customer (6.2020) SOLD

ALL IN ONE

 

The Space – Without and Within

BLOG 3 16 .12.2017

Dear Friends,

I leave for silent retreat with an optimism, gratitude and trust. Because of last years’ events with accidents, illness, darkness, confusion, mother in hospital, and due to the impact on both my physical and energetic health, I was indeed brought to a halt.

Were it not for the amazing singing events I had the priviledge of participating and performing in, 2016 would have been a dark year indeed. Singing for Amma at Alexandra Palance, London and in the Basilica of St Marie-Magdalene in France were the highlights of my year.

Falling , whether it be falling down, falling ill, falling back, falling into, all the fallings, is no accident. For us who are becoming more conscious in each moment. Falling is a lesson. A lesson in deep listening, deep acknowledgement, deep awakening. An awakening to that which resides within, all the time, and yet is hidden behind the masks of our personalities. And yes we know this. Intellectually. Why does life not work out as I want it to? Why does my life not resemble, one iota of what was told it would be, dreamt or believed it to be?

A very short, sharp and true insight came to me this week during my practice :”Life is Karma”. We act out, live out, re-peat, re-do, re-act. Until we don’t anymore. Then life becomes life itself. Just as it is. No more creation of conditions, thus no more karma. That is why it is so important we set about doing good actions, thinking good thoughts, metta for our “enemies” , speaking kind words. It is important that we learn to love and listen to ourselves deeply. So we can do so to others. This way we no longer create any more karmic attachments. By this paradigm shift, we are releasing that which binds us, thread by thread, until all is dissolved and we edge closer into the circle of re-generation, re-newal and a new way of living.

 

The falling down for me has been an awakening into seeing the karmic conditions of my life, so much so, that when looking back, I cannot see this was me living this life, that this was really my life, The falling down has been a urgent call to TRUST. A very close friend said to me “you don’t trust yourself, you don’t trust others, you don’t trust life, you don’t trust the universe/God”. So since this information and the fallings I am feeling and living the internal alchemy of moving from FEAR to LOVE, from CONTROL to TRUST, and witnessing the fruits of this deep trust.

In October 2016 I began work in my garden, dismantling the shed, greenhouse, clearing extensive borders, to clear the space. New fences were erected, and a major change began happening without. And so within I thus discovered. Debate ensued over what I was going to fill the new space with. A yurt, a rotunda, a garden building, a recording studio an office and art room, a summer house. My brother said “leave it alone, and the space will speak to you”. What a metaphor for my evolution my garden is. Every day I look at the space, I love what it has become. There is more work to do, like planting and landscaping. That’s all do-able. The space is still the space. It silently speaks to me and says: just because you have a space, you do not need to fill it”. So watch this space!

I send you all much love and many blessings.

Mohini

 

The Heart Of The Matter

BLOG 2 : 31.12.16  It seems fitting that I am moved to write this on the last day of our linearly defined year of 2016. Many of us having witnessed, experienced and moved through both personal and universal suffering, pain, disappointment, sickness and bereavement. Dear Friends when we feel an opening in our lives, a free flow of energy, a lightness or brightness within, this is our heart. We are destined to allow it to open and stay open. Thus we need to move through the myriad of maya, karmic threads, unhealthy attachments, dysfunctions and mental aberrations, steeped in our conditioned behaviour, which impede our “ascension” if you will into the realms of that which is unseen when operating at a lower level of consciousness.

To be moved to sing from an evolutionary urge emanating from within, where I have consented to the presence and action of God within me, is a truly revelatory process. Those who knew Tish our Pilgrimage friend, she who ignited this impulse for me, leading back to myself, also and more importantly, offered me the gift of discovering the Contemplative Prayer Practice – the mystical side of Christianity. She said to me via a text whilst at the end of her life “i am so glad you have found this practice, it is a true joy”. I tell you this because it is this practice, which has now settled within me, and not dissimilar to the practice of Atma Vichar of the Vedic tradition, both non-dualistic in nature. It is enabling me to pierce through the veils of the need to control circumstances, activities and life in general, all based in fear, and to move, really move into a place of knowing what it actually feels like to trust.

So recently on my retreat at GAIA HOUSE a place which I call home, I spent a week recovering from a very nasty fall in the garden. Next door to the centre, is a church and cemetery. I have visited this church many many times, and yet this visit was different. (of course!) On the door was this sign :

After our Basilica experience, I was prompted to visit to churches in London and surrounding counties, so I could sing in them. I had began scouring the internet to find out which churches were actually open at all times. What a daunting task this would have been.

The words which struck me on the notice above, “…….open to all”. In hindsight, I actually read that as “….open all the time”. I passed through the portal feeling Tish’s spirit there to my right “Well go on then, sing”.

Standing in the centre of the church,the voice arose with the “Ave Maria”, of course. Many more songs an spontaneous melodies arose. I visited the church many times during my retreat. Then on the side table were some leaflets, which I looked at later.

To my amazement, this church – West Ogwell, is part of the The Churches Conservation Trust” (CCT), of which there are no less than 340 other churches throughout the whole of the United Kingdom “open at all times”. They are old churches , with some great history,which have been saved by the CCT, restored, renovated and open for visitors all year round (check the website if you want to visit).

With many blessings, love and heartfelt wishes, health, joy love and peace, until the next episode.

Well Go On, Sing Then!

BLOG 1 23.12.2016 This is the voice of my friend Tish.  She recently passed away. She was a highly intelligent being. In May 2016, we spent a week together with a group of lively and amazing women, on a Pilgrimage to the Basilica of St. Mary Magdalene – Sainte-Maximin-la-Sainte-Baume, in Southern France, and to the cave where the Saint was said to have lived for many years until the end of her life.

Tish was also a wonderful singer with an inspired voice and soul.  “I sing in churches” she says.  “Empty ones”.   I loved singing in churches too.  And the main difference was that I sang “formally” in them.  At appointed times, on schedule, with specific songs, for specific occasions.  Tish sang naturally, spontaneously and liberally.  From her heart, from her soul, Divinely directed, one could say.

Sitting in the Basilica, meditating, praying, reflecting, I feel Tish at my right side.  “You know the ‘Ave Maria’ don’t you?”, she enquired. “Yes”, I replied. “Well go on sing it then”. “What here”, I asked.  “Yes, I sing in churches all the time, empty ones”.

What a leap of faith and a paradigm shift.  An energy moved from within me, and I made my way to the choir area of the basilica and began to hear the ‘Ave Maria’ by Bach/Gounod arise from my being.  I could also hear Tish, singing in a different part of the church. Then another of our group, Grainne, also began singing.  What a joy to behold and to be heard.

Giving our voices back to the praise and glory of God. This is why churches were built.  Their size, their vaulted ceilings, the wonderful stained glass windows depicting stories of all kinds. Built to hold the power of the voices of praise, of thanks and of joy and love. Also of sadness, grief and all the other emotions which encapsulate the human condition.

Thus this journey has started.  I will write more, but for now I am testing this new blog tool, to see how it works.

All that remains, is to say a massive “THANK YOU” to my dear Tish, who is at my right side, when I now sing in churches.